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On Thursday last, I was on my way home from tramping the fields with Bailey dog, when a neighbour stopped me to inform me he was fighting with the council to get a hedge and some mature Oaks ripped out.  Now, using Hooper’s Law, I estimate the hedge to be at least 400 years old.

I asked why and he responded that he hates “bloody greenery”; it cocks up his satalite TV reception too!  And apparently he can’t abide the damn birds making such a racket in the mornings.  Needless to say he hails from the city & doesn’t seem to be adapting…

Well I stood there in absolute mortification and stared at him, rage filling my every nerve and sinew.  While I was standing, taking all this in, he went on to point out his, according to him, beautiful show of bedding plants in tubs placed on a paved front garden.  Bedding plants!!!!  Lovely but mostly totally useless to man, animal or insect; meanwhile plotting the destruction of an old hedgerow and all of its flora and fauna.

Well I did look at his bedding plants.  The look that only a witch can give.  The look of a totally p***ed off witch.  With that, I marched off home.

Today, the Toadsman was just getting his old motor bike started, ready for the Monday morning Wytchenwood postal run, when the countryside vandal of a neighbour came to talk to him.  I wondered what he could possibly have to say to the Toadsman but I didn’t have long to find out.

TM came back in and told me how he’d just learned from the neighbour how there must be some vandals in the area; apparently, over the weekend, his bedding plants had died and he assured TM that it must have been done with poison by either a vandal or someone jealous of his display.

Well, a faint smile must have passed my lips because TM looked straight at me and asked what I knew.

I hadn’t informed the Toadsman of Thursdays encounter because I knew knowledge of the said neighbours plans would make him furious and trust me, sometimes you do not want to see TM when he’s angry!  But now I told him.  But instead of getting furious, he started to laugh.  And laugh.  He virtually ended up rolling on the floor in laughter.

“Oh it’s good to know you can still blight!” he said “Not much call for it these days but bloody hell, the Evil Eye is still working strong in you!”

Yes, it is.  I don’t use it very often, as TM said, not much call for it these days but there are still times when p***ing off a witch will get you a whole world of trouble and this was certainly one of those times.

With that, TM got himself together and set off for the post office, while I set about protecting the hedge row, still with a faint smile on my face.

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